Why doesn't Fido like to be hugged? Find out why!

Do dogs really like hugs? The short answer is not really. But the full answer is much more complex.

Why don't you love me?!
When delving into this topic, it's important to get one thing clear: just because your dog might not like your hugs does not mean he doesn't love you with all his heart. It's hard for many of us to think that our dogs don't enjoy our hugs because to us, hugs are a primary way we show affection.

We are two very different species who have, miraculously, managed to become intimately linked through our evolutionary history. Even so, thousands of years of co-evolution doesn't quite erase millions of years of separate species evolution. And that's why we have to get into the social science of what a hug is to a dog.

Why dogs feel uncomfortable with hugs
When you take your dog to the dog park, or even just to a friend's house where she can play with another dog, how do the dogs greet one another? There are myriad ways dogs say hello depending on if they know each other and are reforming old bonds, or are meeting for the first time and feeling each other out as they establish the pecking order. There is face smelling, rump smelling, tail wagging, play bowing… but there is never hugging. Even among the best of friends. In fact, the closest approximation dogs have to a hug as we know it actually means something other than friendship.

“So when we [hug] dogs, how are they to interpret that?” asks McConnell. “At best, I think some dogs just shrug it off and don’t pay a lot of attention to it for whatever reason. For instance, golden retrievers are famous for their fondness for any kind of touching. But for a lot of dogs, they see it as a potential threat.”

The response a dog has when someone puts their arm over them is varied. “They’ll go stiff, they’ll close their mouth, maybe they’ll do a little lip licking. They’re anxious, they’re concerned, perhaps wondering, ‘Did I do something wrong? What should I do now? Should I just sit still and not do anything?'”

How to find out what your dog thinks about hugs
You might already know exactly how your dog feels about hugs. If your dog leans into you and adamantly snuggles up, it's safe to say he likes hugs just fine. If he gets up and walk away (or leaps away) when you lean in, it's safe to say he doesn't like them at all. But many of us don't actually know how our dog is reacting to hugs.

Recent research done by Dr. Michele Wan revealed that people have trouble reading negative feelings in dogs, especially fear and anxiety. In fact, it is only those more experienced with dogs who tend to pay attention to subtle changes, such as a dog's ear position, as a clue for a dog's emotional state. Yet ears, eyes, lips, tongue, even the way a dog leans can all reveal what a dog thinks about something like a human hugging them.

So, what's a great indicator that even those less experienced in reading dog body language can use to gauge a dog's feelings about hugs? “Looking at whether [the dog's] mouth is open or closed is one of the most obvious indicators. Just because a dog’s mouth is closed doesn’t mean he is miserable. But if his mouth is open and relaxed, then closing the mouth means something has changed and it needs the dog's attention,” such as being unsure or uncomfortable about an arm now wrapped around his shoulder.

How to teach your dog to tolerate hugs

McConnell offers some advice: “Link gradual approximations of hugs with something your dog adores, whether it is food, playing with a ball or belly rubs. Sit beside your dog, shoulder to shoulder, and rest your hand on top of their back. Reward them as you do this several times. Then move your arm around your dog a little bit more, and give them some treats. A little bit more, and give them some treats. And so you gradually and slowly get them associated that your arm over their shoulders is related to something good. If you want them to associate this with other people doing it, you need to have other people doing it, but I would caution people from just jumping into that unless they know their dog very, very well and can tell if their dog isn’t about to object in some kind of way that can cause someone harm. It’s best to start when the dog is a small puppy to do this desensitization work.”

Remember that it may take a lot of time — and a lot of treats — before your dog will tolerate a hug. We are, after all, asking them to do something that goes against their social instincts as a species. So have patience, and be kind.

Every dog is an individual
Another important thing to remember is that each dog is different. You may be sitting there saying, “My dogs love my hugs!” And you may be right. And you may not be right. One of your dogs may adore your hugs and another of your dogs might prefer you don't hug and give a good ear scratch instead. Some dogs might enjoy hugs from anyone. Some might enjoy hugs from their family but not others.

Every dog is indeed an individual with his or her own distinct personality. They each land somewhere on the hugging like-dislike scale; but when it comes to dogs in general, that sliding scale is skewed toward the “dislike” side. And that goes for even the most famously friendly breeds like Labradors and golden retrievers. “Dogs are not clones; all Labradors are not the same, they’re not widgets that come off an assembly line,” notes McConnell.

That's why understanding where our dogs are coming from — as a species, and as an individual — is a key component to sharing a joyful friendship. There is no other species on earth to which humans have been so intricately linked in so many roles: hunting partners, protectors of our livestock and our homes, working animals to haul sleds and carts, companions for comfort, assistants for us when we are physically and emotionally impaired — and the list goes on.

The more we take on the responsibility of seeing the world from a dog's perspective, the easier it is to continue this amazing relationship. And that comes right down to the simple act of hugging. If you want to be your dog's best friend, find out what they do and don't like and adjust the hugs they receive from you or others to where your dog is comfortable.

WOW! Who knew that a hug meant a totally different thing to our furry pals?! We have different ways of showing affection and it's interesting to see how our messages can be crossed. No worries, after getting your doggy trained with the idea of getting hugged, you and your pooch will still have awesome cuddle sessions. See, I told you it's not that bad!

For more information on this, check out Mother Nature Network.